I was a health coach for 20 years and I have been a self sabotage coach for 8. I quit health coaching because my clients were actually afraid to get healthy, lose weight and become disease free. They did everything they could to maintain their diseased and dysfunctional status. When I used to coach health clients, they were all masters of the one step forward, 2 steps back technique. I never gave up trying to understand their addiction to failure and that’s when I came across the very interesting topic of self sabotage. That’s when I quit health coaching and became a self sabotage coach, simply because self sabotage coaching increases a client’s chances of success 1000 fold compared to trying to make people exercise and change their diets etc etc.
Within my health coaching many years ago, I would make my client a new diet, which they could never follow or commit to, even though they had paid me thousands of dollars to get in shape. Why pay if you didn’t follow the advice? They were as confused as I was. As a health coach, I never understood why my clients couldn’t just eat better and neither did they. As a self sabotage coach, I now teach them why they’re afraid to become better than their peers and then we reprogram their minds to dispose of that fear. Easy, peasy. After that, they do everything perfect on their own.
I love making people healthy and seeing them succeed in all aspects of life. Self sabotage coaching is the most efficient coaching system for making people’s dreams come true in very short order, so now that’s why it’s all I do. Self sabotage coaching involves neuroscience, psychology and documented mind control applications……used to hack a person’s mind so they simply get out of their own way and back on the road to their best life. It works wonders and it’s very satisfying seeing such encouraging results in my clients.
As an experienced self sabotage coach, who now speaks all around the world on this topic, I can tell you that every self sabotaging behavior is connected by one common thread. That common thread is a person’s inability to transition from child to fully functional and empowered adult. I’m not talking about an 18 year old only maturing at 25. (so 7 years too late) I’m talking about 40, 50 and 60 year olds acting, thinking and speaking like teenagers or even preteens.
Everything from eating junk food to screen addiction and from stinkin thinkin to hoping someone else solves all their problems for them…….it’s all part of a very wide spectrum of arrested development, which has only come around over the past 70 years or so. A “stalling” of our natural evolution from child to adult and it appears to be new.
Although this article is too short to explain the systems by which adults are encouraged, monetized and incentivized to live within a perpetual childhood……..I can explain here the difference between how a child operates in the world vs how a real fully functional empowered adult operates. When a person of adult age behaves like a child, well into their adult years, you’re going to get a life that looks like the Hindenburg crashing into the deck of the Titanic every single day. The most basic advice I can provide someone is this. Review your own behavior using the list below. Commit to doing “LESS” from the child list and “MORE” from the adult list. As for the other avenues that cause people to self sabotage, you may be interested in hiring a Christoff Certified Self Sabotage Coach to guide you in the future.
- The child makes daily decisions that revolve around their safety. Children are naturally scared and therefore safety is their primary concern. Making friends, being accepted and saying what pleases the herd are all behaviors of the child. A true adult, in their true adult power, seeks long term happiness, regardless if this pursuit gains the support of the mob, herd or wolf pack.
- The child is very interested in scanning their immediate environment for the bigger and safer group. This is proven a normal process in our early years, so we fit in with a bigger group when we’re very young. This increases our chances of survival. In fact most every behavior in this list is tied to our genetic adaptations for survival, during our formative years. These survival based adaptations become a problem when these infant/child based coping mechanisms aren’t let go of in adulthood. A true adult is always aware of where the bigger and safer groups are but a true adult isn’t concerned about safety or group backlash if the group disapproves with the adult’s behavior, choices or opinions. The herd used to control if we lived or died 15,000 years ago and that’s where this pressure to conform comes from but this genetic survival mechanism is counter productive today.
- The child is the perpetual people pleaser, as fitting in and making everyone else like them is the sole mission of each day’s excursions. A true adult likes to be appreciated but will never compromise their core values to make friends with any group.
- The perpetual adult child always puts their own goals on the back burner, if any are developed at all. Due to the fact that safety is the primary concern of the adult child, personal goals may displease some of herd members and this would lead to a decrease in safety. For the adult child (now known as the AC) it’s simply better to nod and agree with everyone around them, as to adopt the group’s attitudes, goals and beliefs……as this increases safety and helps the AC bond harder with the group. Of course a real adult, inside their true adult power, is ONLY goal focused toward accomplishing their dreams and exploring their innate creativity, regardless of group approval or any other factor that would only concern a child looking for safety.
- The perpetual AC has no core values. Core values are morals, ethics and standards that a real adult, in their true adult power, will never negotiate. Anything that is non negotiable will cause conflict in some groups, somewhere down the road. This is why the AC will rarely have any core values to speak of, because fitting in with everyone else is the top priority. Core values hinder blending in with the bigger group. The AC has no values and just changes their behavior to blend in, everywhere they go. Sure some groups have high core values but the bigger groups don’t, so the AC knows that having no core values increases their safety and ability to blend in wherever they go.
- The AC is often caught lying. As children, when we’re small and weak, we can’t defend ourselves from attack….so lying is often our best defense from escaping punishment or putting it off for a couple of hours. Children think in 5, 10 or 15 minute increments so if lying can defer the conflict for a couple hours……..to the child brain, that’s like delaying the conflict for years. Again, lying is a natural adaptation in childhood, designed to make sure we survive. We’re then supposed to grow older, get stronger, get confident and then never need to lie again because conflict isn’t that scary when we’re adults. But again some adults get caught bringing their childhood survival strategies with them into adulthood….where they lie about everything. A true adult, in their true adult power, understands that they have the mental resources and physical strength to deal with any conflict…….so there’s no reason to lie. Just tell the truth, start the conflict with honesty and it will be over before you know it.
- When we’re infants or young children, we don’t have money. We don’t need it. Authority or parent figures take care of the money stuff for us. As children, we’re used to being broke and everything sort of falling into place anyway. As we transition to a fully functional adult, we’re supposed to start thinking long term, instead of short term and we’re supposed to become independent…..not dependent on anyone else but ourselves. Unfortunately we see the adult child taking their child behaviors with them AGAIN into their adulthood. Adults that act like children in their adulthood are most often broke, poor and are terrible with money. A fully functional adult of course behaves in an adult way…..thinking long term instead of short term and knowing money is part of being independent. AC’s live cheque to cheque and carry big debt because they live inside a very common form of arrested development. AC’s are always of adult age but they’re stuck in the past.
- The adult child loves being told what to do and acting dependent on authority figures to run their lives for them. The adult child is very prone to have a deep bond with politics/politicians, voting, going to see their doctors, doing everything their doctor tells them, believing everything the media declares on their screens and respects or works for the government etc…….and that’s because the adult child is dependent on external authority for everything in their lives. Without someone telling the AC what to do with every minute of their lives, they would sleep in all day, just like a child would. True adults, in their true adult power, are adversarial to external control mechanisms. A true adult dedicates to freedom and personal autonomy…….outside the wolf pack.
- Because real children only think in 5, 10 and 15 minute increments into the future……we see the adult child doing the EXACT same. Real children don’t think “long term” and neither does the adult child. The adult child won’t have any long term financial planning in place, no long term health strategies, no long term self education based goals……no long term anything. Every day is a brand new day for an adult child, just like the day they were born. A true adult, in their true adult power, are long term planners with every major issue in their life. Adults do life, AC’s get done by life.
- The adult child is focused on short term gratifications, simply because we were all children at one time and this is how children think. Real children are all about.. “what’s going to make me feel good now?” Forget about tomorrow. Give me the whole box of cookies or that entire bag of mini chocolate bars. As children who focused on what felt good “NOW”, we would either be throwing up or bent over in pain pretty quickly after thinking short term about our diets. Cue in the adult child and we see the same. Short term thinking, while only considering the short term gratifications. Toxic morning coffee, cancer causing wifi in the hand or pocket most of the day, brain destructive alcohol, wasting 2-4 hours per day watching TV, junk food, mindless spending, working futile and soulless jobs for 30 years, take out meals, drugs, not exercising enough etc etc. All short term, instant gratification based behavior. True adults, in their true adults power, think long term, never short term. True adults delay gratification in regards to accomplishing major life goals. The adult child lives like they’re never going to die and then they die, having never lived.
- The “talk” that comes from the adult child is simply regurgitated from the radio, the newspaper or the TV. The AC focuses on what needs to be said to fit in and reading from the mainstream media scripts fits that goal to a T. Thinking doesn’t exist for the AC, only following. Again we all want to fit in but when do we mature past our childhood survival strategies? A true adult easily recognizes that the vast majority of news and government policies are designed to cripple the population’s ability to be free, to develop their own selfhood and to rule themselves efficiently.
- The adult child is often heavily involved with charities, not only because it’s an effective way to score points with the herd but most charities reinforce the childlike dependence that the adult child is accustomed to. Sick and dis-empowered people don’t need medical/government assistance raised by having people consume toxic foods, which only increases disease incidence. Dis-empowered people need someone to show them how to take control of their life with their health, wealth and happiness……..which no charity is currently doing. A real adult, in their true adult power, leads by example in their community. A real adult knows that leading by example takes much more “contribution” than eating a donut and having a pop down at the local charity barbecue……so you can get your picture taken with the other adult children down at the event. The AC NEVER thinks long term, only follows the herd and only wants to be liked. Whatever lie needs to be repeated for all that to happen, the adult child has no problem with any of it.
- When the adult child talks in a group of real adults, they’ll always overstate their accomplishments because they’re used to saying anything they have to (lying) to fit in and be accepted. When the same AC is around a lower strata of people, they simply tell whatever story is necessary to blend with that rougher wolf pack as well. To the adult child, the truth isn’t even a consideration. A real adult, in their full adult power, tells the truth ALWAYS because of their core values and also finds telling the truth a more efficient form of communication because the truth is never complex. Only the lies are complex.
- The adult child often acts more important than they really are. I’ve seen this often, the adult child with no money acting like they have extreme wealth or acting like they’re used to the fine luxuries in life, to peacock their fabricated plumage outwards for others to see. To the adult child, it’s all about the fantasy and the blow hard posturing that can build a faux impression in the viewer’s mind. A fully functional adult is modest about their success and is never boisterous….yet they are also never shy about their accomplishments or desire to lend a hand up to others as well. Although modest, a true adult feels no guilt or shame about being successful. A true adult never plays small to fit in with the underachievers who surround them. A true adult always rises up to their best self, even though it’s safer to underachieve and maintain the unhealthy and poverty based status quo.
- The adult child continually avoids conflict, in order to increase their ‘likeability’ factor. A real adult, in their full adult power, doesn’t start conflicts for no reason but realizes conflict is a part of life. A true adult is confident that they can handle any logical or rational conflict that may arise. The adult child always “turns tail” when hard topics are being discussed and simply offers the most acceptable opinion they know, downloaded directly from the radio, the TV or newspaper. The adult child follows instead of thinks and repeats instead of researching.
- Not only is the adult child dedicated to making others happy and making others smile, they’re firmly dedicated to that goal internally as well. The adult child often has a long list of sedative and tranquilizing chemical addictions to keep the jolly part of their fractured personality always at the ready for the next “big smile” conversation. The usual tranquilizing chemicals that keep the fake smile across the face of the AC are caffeine, alcohol and sugar. TV, movie and screen addictions are also common. Anything but real life, truth and holistic contact with who you really are. A real true adult, in their true adult power, dedicates to a lifestyle free of chemicals that manufacture fake feel good emotions in their bodies……opting out for real life, in its most raw form. You can’t lead any sort of empowered life high and polluted on chemicals, regardless if those chemicals are socially approved or not. A true adult lives these principles daily. A real adult is often addicted as well…..to education, evolution, to their creativity projects, helping others, health and self improvement.
- The adult child is heavily invested in mainstream and conventional structures simply because the mainstream is where the bigger group will gather and positively reinforce each other. This generates increased feelings of safety and security, which are the fuel source for the adult child’s emotional stability. Religion, politics, health care, government, media, the military etc….the adult child ignores all corruption in these areas and sticks hard to the conventional narrative, in order to acquire the most public adoration possible. A true adult, in their real adult power, is well aware of the control structures oozing from all these mainstream institutions. A true adult isn’t afraid to let their voice be heard or to engage in open debate about the collapse of morality and justice in our culture…..led by our cultural institutions.
- The adult child believes life is complex and hard……and it’s true but only because they’ve never transitioned efficiently from child to adult in their own lives. Bringing child based coping mechanisms with us into our adult life means our health, wealth, relationships and inner dialogue with our soul….will all suffer. The true ultra powerful adult, at their true adult center, knows that the quicker we rid ourselves of our childhood rituals, customs and beliefs………the easier life gets and the happier we get.
- The adult child just has the primary attributes of a real child because they’re literally stuck in that phase of their life. In regards to cooking, we often find this observation. The AC isn’t a good cook and isn’t really interested in cooking because that’s an adult’s job. Throw in a child’s short term thinking propensity and self gratification bias…..and it’s usually off to the fast food restaurant, where the AC will get their daily dose of poison. A true adult understands the system clearly. Fast food restaurants and processed foods are part of a world wide network of loosely connected operations, which focus on dis-empowering the population, in order to increase ease of rule over the chemically weakened public. A true adult dedicates their life to making sure that system never enters their field, as to do their part to shut that control system down, through an act of energy starvation. You can’t fight the system when the system is inside of you. You can’t be free when you’re eating slavery.
- When the AC gets to work at the job they took for safety and security motivations, they only give it their best if they’re being judged, graded, watched or rewarded……..because that’s how children are. The adult child needs constant supervision to be moral, ethical and honest…..which of course is only temporary, depending on the constant micromanagement of the adult child. This applies in their entire life as well. They’re never true to any of their promises unless another person is supervising their behavior. Without constant supervision and threats of punishment, their weak moral fibre and their true child selves shine through like the brightest sun rise. A real true adult, works hard every day, because they understand that their work is a reflection of themselves and their own inner landscape. A real adult knows that they must respect and love themselves first, before they can expect the same in return from another. A true adult is true to themselves first and respects the employment/employer relationship….where they would never take advantage of the person paying them or require wasteful supervision just to accomplish what was contracted in the first place. Real adults self govern. Child adults always need someone else to govern and direct them.
- The adult child is only interested in entertainment, even when they’re working that job they took for safety and security based motivations. The adult child has an “entertainment focus” because children are exactly like that. Real children (who are 5-12 years of age) don’t want to work toward bigger goals if there’s any potential that fun could be had instead. The true adult, in their true adult power, focuses on education…….which is the polar opposite of entertainment. The adult child entertains, the true adult educates.
- The adult child loves the traditional holidays, as real children do as well. That’s OK but there’s one massive problem with that……..we’re adults. We’re not children anymore and we’re not supposed to act like children either. The adult child still thinks of their birthday like they were bouncing on their parent’s knee or thinks of Christmas as the best time of the year. A real adult knows these celebrations are designed to extract our wealth and time resources away from things that really matter. But then again, the adult child doesn’t think about long term goals or issues that really matter inside our “go along to get along” society. “Where can I have the most fun and get the quickest self gratification and pleasure?”……that’s always the goal, perpetual entertainment. I’m turning 50 this year and my wife asked “do you want a surprise party?” and I said “no, I’m 50 not 15.” My life is amazing every day and I achieved that because I rejected a child based way of thinking and adopted an adult based way of living. Because I’m a real adult, inside my true adult power, I get to have special celebrations almost every day of the year.
- The adult child gives their endorsements and positive stroking to people who tell them the lies they want to hear. The adult child loves the doctor (who can never make them healthy) because the doctor says, “you’re sick because of your genes…..your junk food has nothing to do with it“. The adult child loves the talk show that says, “red wine is healthy” and “you’re just big boned.” The adult child isn’t interested in the truth. They’re only interested in finding others who justify their shortcomings and endorse their child based adaptations to life. A real adult, in their true adult power, knows that the adoration of others is important…..yet they reserve this praise for situations where it’s truly deserved, because the person receiving the praise has taken the high moral and ethical ground.
- If the adult child has children, they purposely dis-empower them and although this is often subconscious (like many items on this list), they do this because the adults themselves are afraid to be left alone by the child. This is quite common in psychology where the parent(s) disables their children, so the parents don’t have to come to groups with their own shortcomings in life or their fear of being left alone by their child……when the child finally leaves the nest. It could be as simple as transferring the mainstream “job/marriage/ TV/ junk food/ medication/wine/ government lie” programming to the child. At that point, the child will always struggle, the same way the adult child always did……….placing safety first, which is the complete opposite of placing happiness first. A real adult in their true adult power raises their children to leave the nest early, to explore the planet and to avoid the conventional lie based traps which enslave so many.
- The adult child, even when making a good salary….will never have enough money for emergencies, which perplexes the people around them. To the AC somehow they always find their way back to when they were a child, when their pockets were always empty. That actually feels good for them because other people need to arrive to save the day. The AC has no real interest in saving themselves in any way, simply because being independent is a real CONCRETE adult characteristic. Real adults, even when times are tough, always have an emergency supply of money at the ready. Just because they’re adults, no other reasons are needed.
- If the adult child is asked about why their life isn’t working out for them, you best reserve a couple hours in your calendar because it’s never their fault. Get ready for a long explanation regarding circumstances, past events or other people blocking their way to greatness. If it wasn’t for everyone or everything else…..they would finally have everything that real adults have. You’ll never hear any true adult talk like this, even in a joking way. A true adult knows that if they have success in their life, it was them…..and if failure is experienced, it was also them who was responsible for it as well. The AC stays a child by perpetually playing the victim in their own lives. It was never them, it was always someone else. All the reasons for failure lay outside of them.
- Maybe the easiest way to identify the adult child is….. they have no books and have never taken any self improvement courses. Not only does the AC usually have an artificially inflated view of their own intelligence, self worth and importance, they’re not interested in education………only entertainment. Being forced to take a course by your employer doesn’t count. Also when all you do is repeat what the TV, newspapers and radio say (so you can fit in) there’s really no need to educate as well. Big TV on the wall, no books to be found…………that’s about it because that is the same dream of any child. Want to find a true adult, inside their true adult power? Find an adult with a library. Now you’re dealing with a true adult.
- The adult child acts in many ways like a real child. Staying up late watching TV or entertaining around the clock, which doesn’t serve to forward their evolution in any way………..and they also sleep in if they don’t have to work or get up based on some other external pressure or request. If the AC had a free day, they’re up to all hours of the night watching the tube and sleeping in until noon. A real adult, in their true adult power, has most of their days spoken for with exciting personal goals………so it’s early to bed, early to rise.
- There’s one amazing characteristic to be found in most adults who act like perpetual children…….they’re often extremely talented. This is true. Often much more talented than real adults. True adults, in their true adult power, have no problem finding success through the daily application of success based principles, hard work and focused intention. Most of the adult children I’ve met have talents far in excess of the average person yet of course that scares them, to actually move out of the herd and into their own personal self hood. The adult child would rather tell stories of immense success potential never achieved and riches lost than actually becoming a success. The child mind always seeks the familiar and avoids the unfamiliar. The adult child has never reprogrammed to pursue the unfamiliar, as can easily be done with a little bit of training.
- You can tell plenty about a person by the way they clean “things” up or how they complete a task. The adult children are more “general tidy experts” and not deep cleaners……because that’s what children do. Real children get away with as little as they can and aren’t into the big maintenance view of cleaning a home, cleaning a car, cleaning up their garage etc. The AC isn’t interested because deep cleaning and the complete execution of tasks are for the adults of the home…….yet these people are the adults in the home, so things fall apart pretty quickly for the AC. A real adult, in their true adult power, dives head first into any task that needs to be accomplished and they don’t come out until everything is up to functional adult standards.
- The adult child isn’t a big fan of efficiencies that build success over the long haul. They don’t use the cruise control in their cars to save gas on the highway, they don’t know how to program their air conditioners or furnaces to save money when they’re not home, they’re not good for turning lights off around the house when the lights aren’t in use, they don’t change over their snow tires on time and again they’re terrible with money as well. All those issues are adult based considerations, which the AC isn’t interested in. The AC believes that a real adult is simply a phone call, temper tantrum, violent eruption or good cry away…..if they happen to need one. A real adult runs their life like it’s a business, efficiency and no waste are their battle cries.
- The adult child, because they’ve programmed themselves that only external forces can make their financial dreams come true, they often work hard looking for wealthy companions or they play the lotto or pursue some other get rich quick scheme. A real adult knows that success is about self discipline and self reliance. A real adult knows that accumulating skills and knowledge in one particular area, coupled with successful daily rituals, will always produce the life results desired. The adult child doesn’t want to step out of the herd to develop their own innate talents so the only avenues to financial success at that point are 1) a rich partner 2) a lotto win or 3) a get rich quick scheme. Adult children are afraid to be judged if they try and fail, so finding a rich mate, winning the lotto or getting wealthy in a hurry (with a scam) helps them bypass the judgement and “work stuff“, which they’re not comfortable with.
- The adult child always holds one personality for the public, which revolves around the big smile and jolly interactions. Behind closed doors, there’s usually another and different personality altogether. The true adult, in their full adult power, is often seen as neutral….not overly happy but not sullen or depressed either. Somewhere in the middle. Real adults find it taxing to maintain two personalities, especially when one must shine a fabricated personality of perpetual happiness into the world. The adult child is often known as “the hit of the party” because again, it’s about fitting in and sometimes about playing the court jester role to win favor with the tribe. A true adult is most well liked by themselves…………….because they never compromise their core values.
- The adult child is often extremely cunning and emotionally manipulative……using guilt, shame and various rewards/punishments to work any situation in their favor. Just like a real child, who has no physical strength to force their will onto others, the real child starts using emotional manipulations to extract what they want from the world. (usually their parents first and others second) Crying, tantrums, guilt and shame are the tools most often used here. Sex is also a weapon also used by the AC. Real adults don’t need to manipulate anyone to manifest their dreams. A real adult either shares the bounty with others to guarantee third party participation or literally acquires what they want through sheer intelligence and the daily application of success based principles. A true adult accomplishes their goals through mutually beneficial contracts, fairness and hard work.
- The adult child is often a copier of others, everything from their clothing to how they act and from the cars they desire to the TV shows they watch. This is because the adult child is afraid to stand out, so what’s already available in the market is proof positive that it’s already accepted by the herd. Very few new or creative ideas (if any) comes from the AC. A real adult, in their true adult power, will constantly invent and create from the soul, even if the dream or product doesn’t exist anywhere in the world at the present time. The AC always wants to fit in and never offend……the true adult wants to dream and won’t let the tribe steer them away from their passions or their sacred contract with the divine.
- Although a true adult will never compromise their goals or core values to make their dreams come true, the AC doesn’t have any core values so usually any behavior is given the green light, as long as the end goal is met. The AC will do most anything to please the herd of conformity. The true adult will only comply if the behavior is congruent with their core values.
- The AC is often focused on the “I” based behaviors and the true adults are often focused on the “we” based behaviors.
- The AC often makes their present about their past and about why they can’t do this or can’t do that. The true adult makes their present about their future and about why they can and about why they’re going to succeed.
- The adult child has a hard time using the world NO because it means potential conflict and that could end with someone not liking them, a child’s greatest fear. The true adult uses NO more than their YES because everything agreed to has to be congruent with their core values before it’s taken into their field of possibility.
- The AC often takes the role of the joker or court jester to bond with the herd. Comedy is proven one of the easiest ways to bond with others. This often involves the adult child hurting themselves with junk food, alcohol, drugs, negative self talk or other behaviors destructive to the soul. A true adult never prostitutes themselves in anyway, to gain the cheers or favor of the crowd. A real adult, in their true adult power, won’t negotiate their core values………regardless of what is offered in return.
- The adult child will use technology (like their phone or screen time) to hold them back and to waste time, while the true adult will use technology to push their dreams forward. There’s a difference between taking selfies and developing profit generating web content, if you’re looking at a screen for most of the day.
- If you meet an AC when they’re 40, 50 or 60……they behave in the exact same way as they did when they were in high school. The arrested development is obvious. A complete stall of their evolution. When you meet a true adult, in their true adult power, you’ll notice that they’re happier, calmer and more confident than they were in high school.
- Most adult children don’t have health as their top priority because the society is mostly unhealthy, so that means the biggest herd will be bonded with. The safest role to play in an unhealthy society, is that of an unhealthy person. If an adult child looks healthy, it’s encouraged to take a deeper look into aggressive dieting or exercise regimes that are becoming very popular these days. Abusive exercise modalities still mean health isn’t a top priority, so you can actually double your tribal affiliation there, without fear of rejection. Our primary society is self abusive, so simply pick a very self abusive form of exercise, and you’re not really going to offend either of the tribes. A true adult will always have health as the primary foundation of their success. Health as a self love and self maintenance type ritual. Loving the body is very different from driving the body into the ground with starvation diets, abusive exercise regimes or butchering cosmetic surgeries. Again a real adult thinks maintenance and long term while the adult child is all about ,”I’ll trade in my health for whatever I need to do right now, to be safe inside the dysfunctional herd.”
- If the adult child does come into money, as described prior….it may be an inheritance, lotto win or other act of fate etc. If it happens, the adult child destroys it for fear it may make them stand above their peers, which would open them for attack, judgement and their worst fear…..CONFLICT. A true adult, in their true adult power, fully welcomes and expects ever increasing levels of success as the years pass. As the success flows in, the true adult keeps it flowing in…..while the saboteur based adult child destroys whatever abundance comes their way.
- If conflict arises with an adult child and another person, there’s a lack of rational debate and a quick escalation to screaming, accusing, aggressive posture, crying, reviewing of past wrongs or temper tantrums etc. A true adult knows that successful conflict resolution involves keeping calm, listening to the other person explain their feelings without interruption and only talking about one’s own experience of the issue at hand.
- The adult child refuses to question any standard cultural norms in regards to logic or results. The child mind believes that if it’s being practiced openly in society, it must be good for everyone or it wouldn’t be done. To the adult child, everything is perfect just the way it is. With this outlook, you reduce conflict with anyone to non existent levels. The true adult, in their true adult power, refuses to participate in any cultural norm that doesn’t make any logical or rational sense and filters all social requests through their core values.
- The adult child wants stuff, things, entertainment and also wants everyone to like them and call them “a great guy” or “a nice lady”. A true adult, at their true adult center, wants to leave a legacy. Children think minute to minute with safety as the top priority. Adults think decade to decade with legacy as the top priority.
A good confirming video below. This is a real problem, documented for hundreds of years. The adult child can destroy and take down entire cultures and has in the past. Today it appears that adult children are destroying our society once more and this is why it’s very important you understand the key behavioral differences between an empowered adult (at their true adult center) and a person of adult age, who’s simply acting, thinking and communicating as the forever child.